My hand turned me down
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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