In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
