And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
