YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You left your phone here
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