do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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