i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
