I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
