All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
