dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
