Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
