So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
