I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
