You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
