dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
