Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I believe in your delicious
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
