He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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