that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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