stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
