In the future we'll all be gay
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
tell your sister to shave her snatch
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
