I like to think it a success when the cops are called
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
