I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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