god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
