Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
