I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
