You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
