I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You can't special order awesome
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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