I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
