What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
