Come see our sink grown plant.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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