at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
