i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
