How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
