Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
