a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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