i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
