Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
and you fell through a lawn chair
These tits shall not be calmed
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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