and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
