the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
