I want to stick my p in your. b.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
