She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
