My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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