I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish i was in the wii world.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
