Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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