community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
