Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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