i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
