so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
