I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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