Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
