hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
